Monday, January 7, 2008

Right Between The Eyes: Shoot 'Em Up hits the spot.

He's a British nanny and he's dangerous. Clive Owen stars in the action film to end all action films.

When you go to see an action movie, what do you want to see?

  • Explosions  
  • Car Chases
  • Lots of blazing guns
  • hot girls
  • bad ass heroes
  • exciting escapes
  • daring deeds
  • bad ass villains
  • hot sex scenes
  • one liners
  • just enough humor
  • did I mention bad asses?
Why does anyone go to see a movie with Clive Owen in it?
  1. to see him kicking ass
  2. to see him being bad ass
  3. to see him kicking even more ass
  4. to see a complete removal of all asses in the film due to Clive Owens bad ass boot.
Shoot 'Em Up has all of this unlike any other action film; this film does not hold back. How often are we amazed by the skill and dexterity of our hero? While watching Antonio Banderas defeat of enemies in Desperado and Once Upon a Time In Mexico, or as we see Schwarzenegger remove an entire island of enemies from his path in Commando, it's easy to think, "I bet this guy could do anything! He could probably deliver a baby amongst all of that!" In Shoot 'Em Up's first scene, Clive Owen fights off 60-some guys with a gun, while he delivers a baby; he cuts the umbilical chord with a shot from his pistol. Don't we wish that we could have a sex scene and not stop the action? Clive Owen does his woman, and kills his enemy. Yes, he's that good. The bad guys "walk in" on Owen and Monica Bellucci with guns blazing. Clive grabs his weapon and dispatches the first wave without leaving bed. The two keep it up while our hero continues to blaze through his opponents.

Clive Owen plays a man with no name, no past, and nothing to lose (read the poster), known only as Mr. Smith. Isn't this the perfect action hero? He knows everything about any situation they are in. He hijacks cars, knows how to clone people, can fire any weapon, he's an expert marksman, he's got one liners down, is there anything else? Oh, yeah, he's British.

The villain, a high-ranking hitman played by Paul Giamatti, is perfect. Excellent at what he does to the point of absurdity. Brutal and full of great exclamations like "well fuck me sideways!" He's the perfect opponent for Owen's character. He makes great phone calls to his wife explaining that he's going to be away longer than normal on his "business trip". He's really trying to murder Bellucci's baby. Why? Watch the film.

I could never do this movie justice in a review, so go see it. It has a good plot that I have intentionally dodged and it's full of action. But this film achieves excellence with its wonderfully bad ass characters and hilarious situations. This film never pulls a punch and goes the whole nine yards of ammunition to have everything an action movie should. Watch Shoot 'Em Up, and see how bad ass one British nanny can be.

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